ok so alot has happened lately cuz yeah i havent made an entry in a while so ill just tell the basics..................i been hangin with robbie alot lately...friday and saturday night and yesterday afternoon which is freakin sweet...im more in love with him than like...ever before so its cool...i finally worked up enough balls to actually tell him how i feel so congrats for me! yay!! charly and daniel stayed the night on saturday night (they didnt do anything dontworry!!) cuz my dad was in palm springs....so thats groovy.....yeah robbie stayed until around midnight and then we were on the phone until 1:30 or something.....i er...went shopping on sunday...lol....this week is gonna be so easy cuz we've got testing so we do nothing all day everyday AND we have minimum dayss. i have kortney and rita carved into my arm...i just realized that lol...im supposed to chill with them on thursday so we'll see how that goes. man i love those too. okay well today i had a huge discussion with charly abour stereotypes and conformism...and basically its aLL BULL SHIT. everythings all twisted because in order to be a noncorformist you have to conform to the nonconformist conformism and people will think ur conforming but actually ur being a nonconformist because people are being different just for the sake of being different. yeah its confusing...i have to explain it in person. cuz if you think about punk and rock are all about the state of mind. today zach called me a poser cuz of what iw as wearing. and when you think about it....hes the poser because his state of mind is that just because im wearing what im wearing im a poser but who is he to judge because he doesnt know me.....he cant call me a poser unless he knows my perspective and my state of mind....so hes a poser because all hes defining rock as is a style. and thats stupid. im not going around labeling myself. i am who i am and thats who i am.im not saying oh im punk, or im a metalhead or anything. i LISTEN to punk, i LISTEN to metal. and i dress HOW I WANNA DRESS and i DO WHAT I WANNA DO. im not sitting here worrying about whether it fits into this stereotype of that stereotype. i mean come on...i was a cheerleader with black and pink hair for christs sake....people may say thats a pose but theyre wrong because im doing what i want and that is what rock is all about

today was boring....i didnt go to school cuz i had like...food poisoning so yeah i stayed home...after school charly and shannon and philipe and daniel and steve young came over and chilled....me and shannon left charly and daniel alone in my sisters room (wink wink) and we went to taco bell chilled with javi for a lil while and then came home. nothing fun happened...like...at all.....we just watched kyle and all them playing with air soft guns and stuff but thats pretty much it....yup....god damn i miss robbie. for some reason i been wanting him like.....all day....and i really really miss him and i feel like i absolutely like NEED to see him......and i cant figure out why its kinda scary i dunno....lol...like i feel like ima die if i dont see him...lol......philipe was all why dont you and robbie just hook up already cuz im sick of hearin about u two and ur not going out yet....its stupid that he wants to wait until summer thats so dumb he only lives right there.....and i was like yeah...you tell him that......but yeah...nothing happened today so....yeah...damn i miss him................................

today....was strange...it started out boring and uneventful....then during 6th i got 3 (read it...THREE) hugs from sexy sexy colin and we were standin there with his arm around me....lol he tried to grab my ass and my boob...NOT COOL. but hes still like mutha friggin SEXY. so yeha then i was havin a good day right? then after school i hung out with dhanushka and tori supporting the rebellion!! we're having a rebellion to corrupt ASB because they are stupid and unfair and yeha....its called the sadie hawkins revolution....yeah dhanushka and all them are trying totake over ASB by running for all the different offices......i think its a great idea because ASB is just a popularity contest and its time the student body votes for someone who deserves not because theyre pretty and wear a short skirt...hahahaha....but yeah so we were putting up flyers everywhere trying to get support and then Ms. Queen (the ASB teacher) went around the whole school and tore them down.,....BITCH!!! yeah me and tori were posting them all up in the girls bathroom and we went into the stall and on the wall it said mel is a bitch and shes fat as fuck...it completely ruined my day and i think i have an idea who did it. two words. Kim. Mapes. i dont know why shes being so immature about this...like honestly...she just dwells and lingers FOREVER and its over and done with she had her chance to do something about it but instead she sent erin out to fight me instead of dealing with it herself... i dunno why she has to be immature...let it go already and get a life because honestly...shes acting realyl childish like a lil naive school girl...i havent been talking shit about her...im not trying to start shit im just you know ignoring her because she really needs to grow up and everyone can see how stupid she looks....and im sick of all these fucking people judging me when they dont even know me.......like seriously people have no right to judge a person when they dont even know them...like Amanda and Danielle dont like me because they think im a poser...i really could care less what they think because the truth is ONLY GOD CAN JUDGE ME!!!! it just makes me mad how people talk when theyve never even spoken a word to me in my life. how can you judge a person without even knowing what theyre about or what they stand for? im very passionate about the things that i believe are right and i know how i feel and i know my true self and who my friends are and i guess thats all that matters....but i still cant help but be hurt my it you know??? like...i know i shouldnt care what kim and amanda and danielle say about me...but ...i think its just stupid. i dunno ... i just...kim is just being so naive and its making me mad...yeah i think stuff about her but i dont go around telling everyone and tagging in the stalls....from my opinion i think im being mature about it ... i could start shit with her right now...............but i think id rather keep my dignity and keep my cool...anywho yeah....i just remembered how much i love dhanushka (not like..romantically but like...yeah as a friend) im serious he is about the coolest person in the world and hes so nice and he has such a good and true heart...hes always looking to do the right thing and most importantly he stands up for what he believes in even though there are people who disagree with him...hes like my IDOL!! hahah.....but yeh....anywho...i think im done bitching.....for now....lol.

today was an okay day i guess didnt really do anything fun...wrote notes with rita...man i love that chick..shes just so cool...and she gave me this note today that totally brightened my day...she was telling me how much robbie likes me and how much he talks about me and stuff and like how im not like other chix cuz "im a tough, kick ass punk chick, and im really pretty and perfect for robbie" exactly what she said....i felt so damn special it was like unbelievable....man if rita thinks im cool than i must be pretty damn cool. hahaha...anyway yeah nothing important happened...i was hyper like all day and then 6th period it was 100 degrees and me kortney charly philipe desiree and a couple other people didnt dress out so we had to walk 3 miles in the heat...we were like dying...so we ran through the sprinklers it was fun..hahaha yeah and then after school i walked to charly's house with shannon and charly and we were dying of hot-osity. like seriously...my tounge was like all white cuz it was so dry...adn when we got to charly's we drank like 6 glasses of water each and we sat on her couch with ice packs in our laps..haha it was fun yeah we messed around there for a little while and then we left for my house......ew were there when robbies bus got there but the chickies wanted to go to taco bell so i didnt get to give him the "confessional letter" that i wrote him but i guess its all good....then at my house i chilled with shannon, james, and charly and then thats pretty much it............nothing else happened..wow today was a boring day....oh well.....lol...